Category Archives: Uncategorized

Low-Effort Trends for 2017

I’ve had a super-hectic few months where I’ve not really been able to get any work done, but today I actually managed to put in a few hours in front of the ‘putor. So I must have used this time to do something worthwhile, right? Nah – I thought it would be more fun to mock and ridicule the relentless tide of lazy, low-effort, generic-yet-oh-so-edgy designs that I’m seeing everywhere at the mo.

(Wow – if you read that last sentence back you can almost hear the sound of middle-age settling in).

Anyway, enough of this – here’s some design bollocks.

I’m totally not bitter. Totally.


Big Tings Gowan For Us…

Finally! Finally it’s happened – I have gone and bought and actually made some sort of functioning shop to sit on top of it! So from now on, you can buy all of my tat from one convenient location and revel in all it’s noisy ribsness.

Quite what happens to this weird little outpost of the internet, I’m not sure yet but from now on, make you’re first stop in the quest for random tosh.

Exciting times, Lemmings – exciting times!


GTA: Brexit

gta brexit grand theft auto donald trump nigel farage david cameron theresa may jeremy corbyn angela merkel


This has taken an absolute bloody age to do and also remind what a ball ache Cameron is to draw (he’s essentially featureless – it’s like drawing a fatberg) but – at last – it is done! Behold, my GTA: Brexit poster – the carnage simulator for those who’ve graduated from mowing down pedestrians to stacking whole nations into a wall. You can get this design on all sorts of cobbler here.

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In The Shite Garden

makka pakka in the night garden obey

As the parent of a toddler, I spend most of my waking hours wanting to punch the inhabitants of The Night Garden, but – seeing how it’s Easter Sunday – I’m going to let one of its denizens off the hook today. Lucky old Makka Pakka, eh? Long may he continue to faintly worry the nation with his obsessive behaviour…

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A Snifter of Rando

Two little telly related quickies for you:

The first is in honour of the Clash of Quizzie Titan’s that’s set to take place on tonight’s University Challenge. If you haven’t been watching then shame on you as this series has excelled in big personalities – the biggest of which are going head-to-head tonight. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you my interpretation of what the Bobby Seagull vs Monkman semi-final might just look like.

Aaaaaaaand secondly, to celebrate finishing the Leeds Rubbish Seaside poster (more on that soon) I’ve allowed myself an afternoon of tossing about and drawing Tomasz Schafernaker forecasting a giant weather knob. Don’t ask me why.

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Greetings, Pokers…


If you’ve just arrived at here via The Poke and are in the market for seaside tat to purchase then fear not – you can find purchasable coastal slander at the following places:

For postcards and A3 prints, head over to the Rubbish Seaside Etsy store

For T-shirts, Red Molotov will be able to sort you out

For assorted wares like mugs, laptop covers, duvets (srsly, I shit you not) then Redbubble’s where you want to be….

Or, if you’re in Leeds then drop into Fabrication in The Light for irl seaside merch or The Greedy Pig for handsomely framed stuffs.

Anyway, stick around and have a poke about – if you’re in the market for cruel Richard Madeley photoshops then there are bloody loads on this site!

Taking Self-Abuse to the Super Leagues!

leeds winos rhinos rubgy league

I don’t know what you do with your Sunday’s but I like to spend mine making parody logos of my local rugby league team that involve lots of puke. I find it a very wholesome way to round off the weekend. Anyway, you can get this on all sorts of stuff here →

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ERIN BROCKOVICH novak djokovic

Wish I’d made this before he unceremoniously crashed out of Wimbers this year but better late than never, eh?

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More Frankenfliegers

Remember ages ago when I made that Messerspit? Well, I’ve been at it again – check these out…

zunderbolt p47 thunderbolt zero t6 texan

Gasp! A Zunderbolt! Alright, it’s actually technically a Zexanbolt as it’s one of those T6 Texans they converted to look like a Zero in Tora! Tora! Tora!. Speaking of which, Tora! Tora! Tora! is a really annoying thing to type.

lancerator lancaster liberator

Ye gads! A Lancerator!

momcat f14 tomcat mig 21

Ahhhh! My eyes! A Momcat!

hornado F18 Super Hornet Panavia Tornado

Oh my good gravy, is that a Hornado? No, it’s a Super Hornado!

phorthog A10 Warthog F4 Phantom

And who’s this cute little devil? Why, it’s a Phorthog!

Set Adrift On Memory Bliss…

A few years back I used to run a site called Questionable Time that basically provided a pisstake of each week’s episode of QT. I did it for bloody years, penning the vast majority of reports up to #106 and it did ok – it even ended up running on The Independent website for a while. Anyway, one of its trademarks was that each report was headed with a daft photoshop of David Dimbleby and this is pretty much how I learned the dark arts of photo manipulation (although – truth be told – a relentless diet of photoshopping the same person over-and-over again within eye-watering time constraints is also a great way to send yourself slightly mental) – a few of which I have posted below in an exercise of rheumy-eyed reminiscing… sniff

question time david dimbleby 38

They started like this – just messing with the stock show image. Think that approach held for a good few years.

questionable time 21 david dimbleby john lennon yoko ono

His head then started finding itself in new and exciting situations…

questionable time 33 david dimbleby misfits

Turns out that there’s not a huge crossover between QT and Misfits fans, which is a shame because I was dead stoked when I first did this…

questionable time 50 david dimbleby what the fuck 1

This is one of the first ones that I did with The Independent – a process that turned out to be quite an ordeal as they wanted everything at insano Retina resolutions. Also kind of regretted throwing all the crazy in the world at this one so early in the day. After that they were always like ‘This needs more stupid stuff on it’ to whatever I sent them. Gah.

questionable time 56 david dimbleby 80's lcd game

I always liked this one as it was a big technical victory for me at the time. Still think it looks fair chosty…

questionable time 61 david dimbleby space marine warhammer 40k

If you know what’s going on here then you know what shame feels like…

questionable time 74 david dimbleby passed out

Have at you, VICE…

questionable time 75 david dimbleby dimblescally

This is about the point when I was starting to get to grips with Illustrator.

questionable time 85 david dimbleby loader aliens


If you can’t slip on Aliens refences into your own damn website then I’m not entirely sure what the point of life is…

questionable time 87 david dimbleby manga anime dimble san

I have no idea what that says in Japanese…

questionable time 90 david dimbleby fralichen ziet propaganda poster

The high water mark! I was super-proud of this…

questionable time 94 david dimbleby morrissey

And here’s where we hit peak weird…

questionable time 101 david dimbleby wolf gladiators

Or was this peak weird? Hard to call really…

questionable time the reckoning

And this is where it ended for me…

So, that was a fun bit of blatant self-indulgence, eh?! You damn well bet it was.